smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
