Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
