even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
