We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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