If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
