what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I cut my penus on the lid.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Sorry about my life...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
