I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
