my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
