I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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