You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We talked him into tasing himself.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize