that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
