I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
