The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
