K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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