your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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