The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
