Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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