dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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