So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Randomize
