How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
