i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize