I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
