So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
