The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
