What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
so much tequila, so little girl.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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