my shit smells like andre
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
