Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
