she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
