nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Even my vagina gasped.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
