I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
