TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
