There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Alive.
So much puke
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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