is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
