Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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