she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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