Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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