i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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