Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
