sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
