nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
