9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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