i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
