So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
