So drunk its hurt
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
