DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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