what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
