Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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