I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
