So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
