Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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