do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize