Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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