Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
