This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
