If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
