I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
