i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize